Creating Conversations: Using Scripts productively

I mentioned when I started working with ESL students that I thought some of their resources might also be useful for autistic individuals and vice versa. And though I had found a few connections, the first real solid link was founded yesterday.

I do oral practice with students whose native language is Mandarin but who plan to pursue graduate work in either America or the UK. These last two weeks, the students have been bringing in their own materials that they wish to read aloud, in whatever area they think they need the most help.

One of the areas where they really struggle is “social” or “conversational” English. Partially this is because these words are not taught in classrooms, but also because our culture dictates how we respond to certain situations. For example, in the United States, a customary conversation about greiving will go something like:

• Hey! What’s wrong?
• My pet Fido just died.
• Oh I’m so sorry! Is there anything I can do?
• No but thank you. Anyway, have you heard about the Steelers game?

Both an Aspie and someone unfamiliar with American culture might get stuck after line two. How do you respond to news like a Pet’s death. Saying “I’m so sorry” doesn’t come natually because it doesn’t make much sense. You didn’t cause the death, so what have you to apologize for? Then asking “Is there anything I can do?” seems an odd line because what could you really do? Beyond perhaps driving the person to the funeral, what else can really be offered?

But it is social custom to use these lines. When the news of a death is released, and those lines don’t follow it, the conversation stalls as the participants are both left confused and naked in this conversation not based in social formalities. When these lines are presented, the conversation can flow forward onto another topic.

But a foreign exchange student (or an Aspie) might not be aware of these social conventions, leading the conversations to always stall out.  For this reason, conversational phrase books are made. In the particular version my student was using (which I thought was ideal), a topic was given (we worked on sympathy and commiseration), and then 6 example conversations were given, consisting of 5-10 lines a piece, and representing both sides of the conversation. Then, after the example conversations, additional phrases which might occur or be useful were offered (for example, ‘Cheer Up’, ‘Don’t lose hope’, ‘Tomorrow is another day’)

I could see this book as serving two possible uses for autistics.

One, it could be read individually to gain familiarity with the way such conversations are held. Many people acquire these patterns from reading fiction novels, but many (though certainly not all) autistics do not enjoy reading fiction for various reasons. But with these phrase guides, it is possible to read the snippets of conversations that would be useful to incorporate into speech without wasting time on backstory and furthering the plot.

Additionally, these conversations could be used as scripts for role-play, either in a social group or with a parent or sibling. This way the individual is able to practice the conversational techniques as well as switching perspectives, without having to devote energy to develop the phrasing necessary for the conversation. Then in a real environment, hearing one of the phrases from this script could trigger the correct response.

The book my student was using was designed for individuals fluent for Mandarin. I am still looking for an English equivalent and wil update when I find one.

Creating A Functional Schedule

One of my greatest weaknessess is in the area of executive functioning. I am simply a terrible planner. I can never keep track of all my activities and often find mself scrambling at the last minute to finish something I could have done stress-free a week ago. I’ve tried planners and to-do lists, reminders on my computer and phone, but nothing could really get me organized.

This semester, however, has been stress-free when it comes to homework. I’ve yet to find myself doing at the last minute what I should have done previously. The reason? I finally have a method of organization which can encompass all my needs.

Here’s how I work my schedule out.

On Sundays, I create a document titled “This Week’s To-do List”. Then I begin listing items, the first always being “create to-do list”. After each activity, I list the time I expect it to take, followed by the date it is due. For longer projects, I create a subheading. So for a paper, for example, I might write:

-English Paper (8hr) (Next Fri)

• Compose thesis (.5 hr) (M)
• Write Introduction (1 hr) (T)
• Create Outline (2hr) W
• Meet with Professor (1/2 hour) Th
• Write first draft (2hr) F
• Revise (1hr) (S)
• Meet with Professor (1/2 hr) T
• Finish final revisions and print (1hr) Th

This way, I can check off completed items one step at a time, and feel as if each hour spent I actually accomplish something rather than simply chipping along at a megalith. Also important is the fact that I do not cross off or delete finished items, I merely italicize them. This way, when I get discouraged and feel as if I have gotten nothing done, I can look at the list and marvel at my accomplishments.

Beneath my list of assignments, I create a list of contacts I need to make during the week, including internship inquiries, work schedule determination, tutoring times, and meeting for meals with friends. I follow the same procedure as above, listing the date this must be accomplished by and the time it will take to perform.

Below this, I create a schedule for myself which changes each day. Here, each day is separated into X hour-long chunks. The goal is to finish the day with 4 uninterrupted hour chunks during which I can participate in my hobby, with the remaining day filled in with classes, assignments, and around 2 hours worth of fifteen minute periods during which I check my email, facebook, and twitter. By scheduling time for my distractions, I am able to block out the thought of them while working and thus accomplish more.

Finally, at the bottom of the document, I create a pack list, which includes everything I will need for the day. This is very detailed so that I am sure to leave nothing out. For example, my list for tomorrow reads:

• Lifespan Hw (Printed)
• Lifespan Notebook
• Lifespan Text
• History Notebook
• History Text
• English Text
• English Note cards
• English Notebook with Outline inside
• Tutoring Schedule
• Tutoring Material
• Planner
• Printed To-do list Document
• 2 writing utensils and a highlighter
• Wallet, keys, phone, watch, camera.
• Hobby Materials.

By creating a list for myself, and including everything I will need for the day, I can reduce the number of trips I need to make back to my room, increasing the amount of time I can be productive. I can also check myself periodically against the list to ensure I have not lost or misplaced any key item. Finally, when I become stressed and feel like I must be forgetting something, I can check the list and remind myself I have everything under control.

Although the end result is somewhat complicated, it is also very thorough, and has certainly kept me on track for this semester. Do you use a specific to-do list method to keep track of your activities?

Guest Post: 7 Tips for Taking Your ASD Child on Vacation

7 Tips for Vacationing with Your Autistic Child

Taking a child on the autism spectrum on vacation may seem like more trouble than it’s worth, but with a little advance planning, the trip can actually not only be an enjoyable experience for the whole family, but a learning opportunity for the child reinforcing the fact that leaving the safe confines of the life he knows can be fun. Here are seven tips to ensure that your trip is successful.

• Discuss your destination. Talk about where you are going. Look at pictures either online or from others who have been there before. Study maps of the area. If you have access to photos of your lodgings, look at those as well. Preparing your child ahead of time for what to expect in the way of location and where you will be staying can alleviate the fear of the unknown and make it seem more familiar when you arrive.
• Bring familiar items. If your child has a favorite blanket, pillow, or lovey, be sure to bring it along. Having an item of comfort and familiarity nearby can help keep your child calm.
  Have a special surprise. Bring something along that is brand new and aligned with your child’s special interests. Don’t tell him you have it, then while traveling by plane or car, or any time you need to redirect his attention, bring out the fun treat to keep him occupied and distracted from potential stress-inducing situations.
• Bring ear plugs. Especially if your child is easily over stimulated by noise, be sure to keep a pair of ear plugs or a set of ear phones connected to an MP3 player with some favorite music. Blocking out the noise can help prevent any meltdowns that might occur due to the noise and bustle of a new environment.
• Plan down time. While the rest of the family may enjoy being on the go all day, remember that your child will benefit from some down time. If possible, schedule it in every day for the same time and at the same place. The sense of routine will give your child something to expect and understand.
  
• Take food. Traveling means not having familiar foods and often, disrupted eating schedules. It may be difficult to find the food your child wants at exactly when he wants it. Head off any problems by having a stash of favorite, portable foods with you all the time.
• Prepare for the unexpected. Travel is an adventure, and part of that adventure means not always knowing what will come next. These surprises can leave a child on the spectrum feeling anxious and can lead to meltdowns.  Be prepared for the unexpected in every situation and plan how you will deal with it. Staying calm and communicating what is happening or what you know about the situation will go a long way to comforting you child.

This post was contributed by Meredith Walker, who writes about the masters in public health. She welcomes your feedback at MeredithWalker1983 at gmail.com

-And be sure to also visit her excellent post on 100 Resources for Parents, teachers, and caregivers for ASD kids. With 100 sites to choose from there will have to be at least one you haven’t seen before.

Chores as Therapy

Theories on the role of chores can be divided into two categories: chores to teach responsibility (involve charts and names and usually some sort of reinforcement for completing the task) and chores to teach obedience (“Cale do this,” with a punisher for failing to complete the task). We were a chores for obedience family.

But they can serve a greater purpose then simply being a way to teach life lessons. Chores can also serve as a form of sensory integration therapy.

• For example, for years and years I could not stand the sound of the vacuum. I would run up the stairs and hide my head under a pillow rather than listen to the vacuum. But once my mom had me start vacuuming (first with headphones with music, then headphones with silence, then no headphones), I became accustomed to the noise. Improving on the situation was the fact that I was now in control of the noise. If I needed a break, I could turn the vacuum off for a few minutes; if I was tolerating it well I could vacuum an additional area of the house to avoid needing to do it later. The noise of the vacuum was now only being played on my terms, which helped me to adjust to the sound.

• Another example is meatloaf preparation. If you’ve been reading this blog for awhile, you know I have serious consistency issues. And meatloaf preparation involves the touching of sauce-covered cold ground beef. But I discovered after one encounter with the meatloaf, that I could prepare it way better than my mother. So slowly but surely I moved from ingredient fetcher to meatloaf preparer and the quality of the meatloaf improved while my aversion to it substantially decreased. I’ve now become quite fond of preparing meatloaf.

Chores can also be used to improve fine motor skills.

• Ever since I was young, I was the official mozzerella cheese cutter for chicken parmesan and lasagna. I will admit, my knife work isn’t pretty. I flunked cutting skills in kindergarten, and with good reason. But after 15 years of 3X a week cheese cutting, my slices could easily be confused with that of an experts (ok, not exactly, but still…).
• In a house with two boys who roughhouse, buttons never cling to clothes very long. A decade ago, my mom declared me the official button-sewer. Those tiny little needles with that very frayed thread made this task an intense challenge. But with plenty of practice I have prevailed.

So, as much as I hate having to stop whatever I’m doing, I’m also well aware that every guy’s crazy for a man who can cook and sew.

Nutrition Knowledge: A Plea for Advice

So, 5MFSN is hosting Try-This Tuesday today, as they do every Tuesday (and you should totally check it out because there is some awesome advice to be found out there). But today, rather than a tip, I have a question, something my family currently needs advice on.

The big issue, right now, is Carl’s diet. He’s gained 35 pounds in the last 5 months, and is now tipping the scale at over 210 lbs (5′4″) (For comparison’s sake, I’m an inch shorter and 75lbs lighter).

We feel as if we’d tried everything. He was given a subscription to the gym, but he refused to go. All the junk food in the house was replaced with healthier options; he began taking all of his meals out. Mom limited dinner out to a few select items; he used his own money to buy crazy deserts.

I gave him a basic lesson in nutrition, in figuring out how many calories he needed to ingest each day to stay at the same weight, and how a subtraction of X amount of soda could lead him to shed pounds rather rapidly. For me, that was the trick. Once I hit my ballooned out weight in ninth, I became a nutrition guide addict. I had my life figured out down to the half-calorie, and it was all closely monitored on an Excel progam. I liked the order and sense of it and watching the calaculations result in visible change got me on the path away from obesity. But Carl is totally disinterested. “It’s too much math,” he’ll complain, and when I showed him that all he needed to do wasgive himself 20 100-calorie sets a day, and then subtract 1 for each cup of coke, and the appropriate number for each other item he’d be set, he just became enraged and ran upstairs to slam the door.

Mom’s at her wits end. We have a strong history of diabetes, heart disease, cholestrol issues, and the like in our family, and she doesn’t want to watch Carl put himself in jeopardy.

We’ll really take any suggestions at this point…

Saving cash and time while preventing the “I’m bored!”

As a child, I had severe asthma, and had to use the nebulizer 3-4 times a day. It is too loud to make watching TV possible, the cord got in the way of books, and I couldn’t remove it from my mouth to talk. I hated it but I hated the hospital and shots worse, so I complied (most of the time).

One thing that made it bearable was having an activity that I could do during it that I enjoyed and that served purpose. I was never one for arts and crafts because I could not understand the point of making a picture only to eventually discard it. One day my mom came up with an idea, and it became a part of the routine until I was able to start a pill/inhaler regimen in middle school, thus ending the treatments.

Every Sunday she would gather up the circulars that came with the paper. Considering we subscribed to three different papers, this was an awful lot of circulars. During my treatment I had one of four options:

• Sort through the coupon holder and look for expired coupons (practice with dates, time, etc.)
• Sort out all the coupons I had cut earlier in the week into their proper category (alphabetizing, categorizing)
• Cut coupons out of the circular (great fine-motor practice)
• Cut pictures of items there weren’t couons for, but were on sale, and place them on a wish/shopping list.

The end result: Mom saved on the groceries without having to invest additional time into cutting out and searching for coupons. I had something to do with my time on the nebulizer and the foods I especially liked showed up in the kitchen more often. It was a win-win for both of us.

Things Parents Need to Know

I wrote this a while back but it never made it onto the blog. But it is today’s Try-this Tuesday topic so:

 Just Post Diagnosis:

• Remember that your child is the same person he was before the doctor said “I think it’s autism”. The diagnosis is not a death sentence, it’s a way for you to learn more about your child and find strategies which will help him be as successful as he can be.
• Don’t become disheartened by the gaps between your child and Nts or your child and some higher functioning autistics. The fact is that a prognosis cannot be made based upon a child’s behavior at two or three. Some will begin to blossom in a few years or even a few months. Some fully functional adults spent their first five years flapping in a corner.
• Autism should not squelch your dreams for your child. You may need to adjust some of your dreams, but there will also be new dreams. And you can wind up amazed at what your son/daughter can accomplish.
• It is important that you find therapies that will help your child. But it will do you or your child no good to beat yourself up over the “I should have seen this before; I should have gotten him into early intervention; I should have X Y Z” The whole notion of a window of opportunity after which the gate shuts closed simply isn’t true. Work with what you can now.
• Know that there is sooo much information out there when you know where to look for it. Connect with a blogger online and follow her links. There are moms with kids at all points on the spectrum blogging about what works for their kids, and there are autistic and asperger’s individuals blogging about themselves. There are books packed dense with information; more than you could read in a lifetime.
• Find support. Raising a kid with special needs is difficult, and going through it alone will only make it worse. Whether it’s through a local support group, on the phone with a caring relative, or on the internet, find someone you can vent to. You can only be a good resource for your child when your basic needs are taken care of.
• Remember your kid is still a kid. Yes, you’ll want to sign him up for every therapy out there, but don’t forget to schedule free time. Time when he can do what he wants without someone trying to teach him at every corner.

 

Reflections for Parents now:

• Don’t view your child’s special interest as a problem to be overcome. So much energy is wasted trying to redirect focus to other topics. Remember Han’s Asperger’s line, “for success in art or science, a dash of autism is essential.” Regardless of your child’s interest, there is a place in academia where he can explore it at will, and even make money off of it. I eat, sleep, and breathe autism, and when looking for a research position, this is what the faculty were looking for. Someone who couldn’t get enough of the topic, couldn’t stop reading about it, and didn’t want to talk/focus on anything else. This hyperfocus which seems annoying now will be invaluable at university.
• Remember that although your teen is autistic, he is still a teenager. It will only harm him/her to not be aware what puberty or sex is
• Don’t rush to attribute everything to autism. Rapid moodswings, trying to avoid parents, resisting authority figures, is not a symptom; it is teenagerhood.
• Watch out for your child’s mental health. Most teens with Asperger’s will develop a mood or anxiety disorder. Know the signs and symptoms and get your teen help before the situation turns tragic.
• Remind your child daily how much you love and care for him, and how proud you are of his achievements.
• Remember that simply because your teen looks like he is coping better this doesn’t mean his problems have been overcome. I’ve learned dozens of tactics for coping with sensory overload, but every day I walk into a flourescent lit room with several people talking is a struggle I need to work twice as hard as my NT peers to overcome.

Be sure to visit this week’s Try-This Tuesday hub for more great posts on the topic.

Manners for Minors: A young child’s guide to etiquette

A while back, I wrote about my favorite new Etiquette Book, “How Rude!”. But while it’s quite useful for the 13+ set, it probably wouldn’t be appropriate for most young kids. Fortunately, there’s a book named “Feelings and Manners” which is equally useful. Each page is devoted to a question like, “Why should I chew with my mouth closed?” Then an answer is given, along with more handy tips about the occasion such as “use a napkin,” and “if you don’t like something, say “No Thank You, not “Eww, Gross”!”. Each tip is then accompanied by an animated picture to drive the point home.

This book is particularly excellent because it does not resort to reasons like: Doing X is the right thing to do, or do Y because it is polite. Rather it gives logical reasons for each suggestion. For example under “Why should I listen to adults” there is a picture of an adult saying “Don’t forget your lunch and coat.” Then there is a picture of a boy at lunch holding his stomach because he left his lunch bag at home, and a boy outside cold and wet because he has no jacket. Or under “Why should I stay in line?” they explain that when everyone stands in line, they can spend more time on the ride, and less time pushing and shoving other people who got in the way. For the autistic child, these sort of explanations are far more useful than the typical, “because that’s what people do” or “because I said so.”

The book also includes a section with practical suggestions like “What to say on the phone,” “What to say when meeting someone new” and “How to respond to a friend who’s sad” (one I certainly still need help figuring out). An additional section answers diversity questions like “Why do people wear glasses?” and “Why do people come in all shapes and sizes?” and “Do all people go to church?” Finally, in the back there is a multiple-choice  quiz to see if you can figure out how to respond to a variety of scenarios. These can be useful for roleplaying and practice. Each question in the book could alternatively be made into it’s own social story.

This book can also be used to accompany the game suggested by Donetta @ A Life Uncommon. I’d summarize it here, but it’s best if you read the whole story.

Writing Woes

 

If your house is anything like my house, (and I bet many of them are), on a typical Sunday night, Mom comes in carrying all the groceries. We empty the bags and then have this dialogue.

• C: Uh, Mom?
• M: Yes, dear?
• C: Where are the pens?
• M: What pens?
• C: The ones I need for school. You didn’t buy any.
• M: I just bought you pens last week. A whole 10-pack.
• C: Yeah, but Carl took half, and then a classmate needed to borrow one and never gave it back, and then one of them broke, and one exploded in my mouth and then… So now I need some new ones for school.
• M: You couldn’t have told me this before I went to the store?
• C: I figured you knew I needed more pens. Remember last night when I asked you for a pen to do homework?

Now, obviously with me out of the house and Carl taking his notes  by laptop, this is no longer an issue. But it was for the several years we were going to school together. Until my mom came up with the ingenious solution of buying a gross of golf pencils (144). These are great for a number of reasons:

1. They come in a gross. So it takes a whole semester before you have to buy a new one.
2. They cost half the price of the same amount of pens. We bought them 1 gross for $5.
3. They are far less appealing to chew. Because they are so short, your hand is almost in your mouth when gnawing. So they tend to stay in tact far longer.
4. Most people don’t use them. So if you lend one out, you always know which ones to take back at the end of the day, as you’re the only one in the class who uses golf pencils.
5. They can be carried in a shirt pocket without looking nerdish as they cannot be seen over the top of the pocket. This handy carrying space makes them much more difficult to lose.

We’ve always had the most luck at Staples, but I imagine Office max or Depot would have them as well.

This is part five of a series of Skills for School. If interested, more can be found in the upper right corner.

Color-coding Citations

Today I thought I’d pick up with the skills for schools posts (since I don’t have much insight into birthday parties; the last one I was at was perhaps 10 years ago. . So far I discussed the three-string method for organizing a story, and the Harvard Standard Outline for organizing notes. So today: how to organize research.

When needing to read multiple sources to write a paper (say a book and two articles) it can become difficult to remember where you got each fact from, and how it will fit into the paper once done. Here’s what I do:

1) Read source one. Copy down X number of key facts from that source into a word document. Change the font color in those notes to one color (say red).

2) Repeat for sources 2 and 3, making each a new font color.

3) Create an outline with the main topics I will cover in the paper. If it is a paper on elephants I might do:

• Types of Elephants
• What do elephants eat
• Where do elephants live
• Are elephants endangered? Why?

4. Using Cut Copy Paste, Copy each line of research into one of the four categories.

5. The end product will be an organized outline, with each source in a different color.

Now all you have to do is translate it from notes into sentences and add citations to finish the paper. This method has worked for me for papers requiring as many as 12 sources. Beyond that number I run out of colors my eyes can distinguish easily, and it becomes a laborious process to match colored notes to original source.

This is useful for a number of reasons:

1. It’s immediately evident if one of the sources you read isn’t in your paper. If you have an organge source and no orange in your outline, you know you need to adjust.
2. It’s also immediately evident if all your information about a certain topic (say food) was gained from one source. It’s usually better to cite multiple sources per paragraph, so it would be better to have a mix of colors in each step of the outline, rather than one that’s entirely blue.
3. The outline doesn’t become clogged with information like the author’s name and title, as it is represented by the colors. This puts the focus where it should be, back on the facts.

 And if you only have a black-and-white printer, different font shapes can be useful as well.