Autism and the Shower: Tips

As a child and teenager, I was terrified of showers. I didn’t take my first full shower until the summer before I went away to college, because I knew the dorms didn’t have baths. Everything about the shower disturbed me: the water, the textures, being naked, etc. Especially bad was hair maintenance- washing, drying, brushing, all of it was unattractive.

It is, however, an unfortunate fact of life that everyone must clean their bodies and hair, to prevent illness, odor, and social avoidance. Here are some tips to make showering less aversive:

1) Timing: Most people have particular shower times: before bed, just post-waking, etc. But there is no set law that showers have to be taken at a given time each day. For individuals wary of showers, preparing oneself for the act of showering, and then calming down afterwards, can take time, with some needing more time than others. If they need prep time, consider an afternoon or evening shower. If they need calming time, be sure not to force showers right before bed as it may interfere with sleep. Experiment with offering showers at different times of day to see what works best for your child.

2. Getting into the shower. Showers can be a full-on sensory assault for autistic individuals. This may make them fearful of getting into or staying in the shower. If your child refuses to stay in the shower long enough to get clean, try building up to it. On day 1, let your child stay in the water as long as they can without getting upset. Even if the time is only ten seconds, reinforce your child for making it that long, with a token, a dessert, or whatever works as reinforcement for your child. The next night, require that they make it fifteen seconds before receiving the reinforcement, than twenty, thirty, a minute, etc. until they have reached a period of time long enough for a full shower to occur (maybe 8 minutes?). As your child becomes accustomed to the feeling of the water on their bodies and face, it will likely become less aversive and showering will become easier and easier until no reinforcement is needed.

3. Shower Products. Shampoos, soaps, and body washes can be a major issue of contention. They each have their own smells and textures that need to be dealt with, and they can leave your body or hair feeling different, even after they’ve been washed out. Offer as great a variety as you can and let your child choose what works for them. I used to hate the feeling of soap, and in college I found everyone had switched to body wash, which made for a much nicer experience. Travel-sized choices can helps save money while experimenting, as can stores such as big lots, which offer name-brand options at store-brand prices. When you find an item that works, stock up so that you don’t need to repeat this procedure again in a few months when the formulas change. I bought a 24-pack of the conditioner I use so that I won’t need to reassess conditioners for another 12 years or so.

4. Shower Tools: Once you have the item to be spread on the body, you need to find the perfect tool to spread it with. Washcloths, sponges, shower brushes, loofahs and even hands all make good options. Let your child try out each one and pick which is least aversive.

5. Shower Heads: Sometimes the biggest issue is water pressure. If you don’t already have one, consider picking up a multi-option shower head, the ones where you can choose how heavy or light and dispersed or concentrated the water is. When you find the setting that works best for your child, mark it on the head so that it can be set back to this level with ease.

6. Drying: Again, it’s all about options. My mom always used to towel-dry my hair and I hated that feeling. It would get caught up in the towel and the heaviness of a wet towel atop my head was awful. Switching to a hair-dryer helped eliminate that hassle, and I found the noise comforting. Towels can vary in texture and heaviness, so consider trying out a number of different ones before settling in on the one that works best.

7. Routines: Once you find the perfect time to have a shower, and have all your options in place, make it a part of the routine. Using a shampoo designed for daily use can eliminate the confusion between on and off days, and picking two particular days each week when conditioner will be used can assist in making it more routine. Hang a pocket-calendar in the bathroom if necessary to track which days are shampoo or conditioner days.

Showering can be a major battle, but it doesn’t have to be. Providing your child with options, respecting their sensory needs, and building the shower ritual into your daily routine can all help to make the procedure easier for everyone involved.