Asperger’s and College Parties

After staying at a house notorious for its parties this summer and becoming good friends with the people who live there, I have begun to attend parties this semester, an activity I had never done before.

There were many reasons I didn’t attend my first two years:

• too many strangers
• very loud and unexpected noises
• close space with a ton of jostling

all of which can be very irritating to the Aspie. My first plan for this semester was to arrive two hours before the party (note that the holders were good friends of mine), and then leave after a half-hour of partying because the environment was too intense. That way I got to enoy the festivities but avoid the overload.

When my friend voiced her concerns to me that I wasn’t enjoying the parties, I explained to her how the above reasons make me uncomfortable. She nodded, considered for a moment, and came up with a plan. “How about,” she said, “we develop a break room. My room is in the back of the house away from the noise and strangers. And whenever you’re feeling overloaded or stressed, you can chill in the break room.”

I was struck by the idea; it was an ideal solution, one which most parents of autistics are already well aware of as they implement it at birthday parties, holidays, and other social gatherings.

So last night I attended my first full party (2.5 hours). I mingled and socialized in the large group for some time, but I also enjoyed the break room a great deal. Other friends passed in and out of the break room as we created a party within the party, a place for friends of the house’s owner to chill away from the strangers and their annoying habits.

And you know what? I had a blast. I got to hang out with friends I hadn’t seen in awhile, watch several games of beer pong, enjoy some good music, and overall enjoy a stress-free, relaxing evening. Most importantly, I established that social parties are  not an impossibility for me. With a simple accomodation we turned a dreaded event into great fun for all.