Exposing my own Biases
June 22, 2009We pulled up next to a van with two bumperstickers on the back, both advertising for autism awareness. My first thought: I have to find that mom, and give her my card (business card with my name, adress, and qualifications as a special needs babysitter). We were at the food court, so the plan was simple.
I started at the back and kept my eyes peeled for any kids exhibiting spectrum traits. I stored away four boys for the recheck, boys who were waving their hands in front of their eyes, staring at the ceiling fan, or playing with Thomas the Tank Engine trains.
I heard the man before I saw him. Making the noise that sounds like it would almost be speech if the lips were moving in sync. Then I walked by. He was a bit older than Carl, maybe in his early 30’s, and a woman I presume was his mother was enjoying her lunch with him. I smiled at the two (because that seems the best response when caught peering a bit too closely), and kept walking on to grab my lunch.
My own assumptions had gotten the best of me, which I suppose is at least partially a sign of how “awareness media” is being very careful about the image it presented. Seeing the stickers, I assumed they belonged to a mother of a boy, probably between 4 and 8, who would be immediately obvious in a crowd of people emjoying their lunch.
I’d like to say that this experience was the last time I make a thought error like that, but I doubt it.
I think it’s a good sign, though, that you recognized the bias. I would’ve assumed the same thing. Isn’t it funny how “disabilities” challenge the way you think even when you think you’re beyond little stereotypes?
P.S. I enjoyed the socializing stories series.
Jess wrote about autism bumper stickers today too, you guys must be in sync.
If there’s any area where awareness needs raising, it’s that kids with autism grow up to be adults with autism. Thanks for helping spread the word!
Mama Edge hit the nail on the head.
I’m a little surprised that you didn’t sit next to them and try to strike up a conversation – I’m sure the mother would have welcomed it. But there’s something to be said for privacy, of course.
Older people with autism rarely get the coverage they deserve. Although autism publicity for any age child (or adult) is great, these children will eventually become adults, and not much is thought about that.
I think that’s an important point, because I think that’s a common thing, that autistic spectrum disorders (I don’t think disorder’s really a good word, but I don’t know another one) are viewed as something children (and I think it’s always presumed to be boys) have, I think AS adults can be invisible, particularly if they come off as neurotypical if you only know them on a superficial level.