Things Parents Need to Know

I wrote this a while back but it never made it onto the blog. But it is today’s Try-this Tuesday topic so:

 Just Post Diagnosis:

• Remember that your child is the same person he was before the doctor said “I think it’s autism”. The diagnosis is not a death sentence, it’s a way for you to learn more about your child and find strategies which will help him be as successful as he can be.
• Don’t become disheartened by the gaps between your child and Nts or your child and some higher functioning autistics. The fact is that a prognosis cannot be made based upon a child’s behavior at two or three. Some will begin to blossom in a few years or even a few months. Some fully functional adults spent their first five years flapping in a corner.
• Autism should not squelch your dreams for your child. You may need to adjust some of your dreams, but there will also be new dreams. And you can wind up amazed at what your son/daughter can accomplish.
• It is important that you find therapies that will help your child. But it will do you or your child no good to beat yourself up over the “I should have seen this before; I should have gotten him into early intervention; I should have X Y Z” The whole notion of a window of opportunity after which the gate shuts closed simply isn’t true. Work with what you can now.
• Know that there is sooo much information out there when you know where to look for it. Connect with a blogger online and follow her links. There are moms with kids at all points on the spectrum blogging about what works for their kids, and there are autistic and asperger’s individuals blogging about themselves. There are books packed dense with information; more than you could read in a lifetime.
• Find support. Raising a kid with special needs is difficult, and going through it alone will only make it worse. Whether it’s through a local support group, on the phone with a caring relative, or on the internet, find someone you can vent to. You can only be a good resource for your child when your basic needs are taken care of.
• Remember your kid is still a kid. Yes, you’ll want to sign him up for every therapy out there, but don’t forget to schedule free time. Time when he can do what he wants without someone trying to teach him at every corner.

 

Reflections for Parents now:

• Don’t view your child’s special interest as a problem to be overcome. So much energy is wasted trying to redirect focus to other topics. Remember Han’s Asperger’s line, “for success in art or science, a dash of autism is essential.” Regardless of your child’s interest, there is a place in academia where he can explore it at will, and even make money off of it. I eat, sleep, and breathe autism, and when looking for a research position, this is what the faculty were looking for. Someone who couldn’t get enough of the topic, couldn’t stop reading about it, and didn’t want to talk/focus on anything else. This hyperfocus which seems annoying now will be invaluable at university.
• Remember that although your teen is autistic, he is still a teenager. It will only harm him/her to not be aware what puberty or sex is
• Don’t rush to attribute everything to autism. Rapid moodswings, trying to avoid parents, resisting authority figures, is not a symptom; it is teenagerhood.
• Watch out for your child’s mental health. Most teens with Asperger’s will develop a mood or anxiety disorder. Know the signs and symptoms and get your teen help before the situation turns tragic.
• Remind your child daily how much you love and care for him, and how proud you are of his achievements.
• Remember that simply because your teen looks like he is coping better this doesn’t mean his problems have been overcome. I’ve learned dozens of tactics for coping with sensory overload, but every day I walk into a flourescent lit room with several people talking is a struggle I need to work twice as hard as my NT peers to overcome.

Be sure to visit this week’s Try-This Tuesday hub for more great posts on the topic.