Change to Cash

Patience is a rough concept to teach. Particularly in this world which can provide almost instant gratification. IM’s, internet shopping, downloads, ATM’s, microwavable food, etc. all make it so that almost nothing in this world takes more than ten minutes. Except of course, all the important things like building a family, teaching a concept, or earning a profit.

My mom came up with a creative way to teach us the value of waiting. In our house we have a giant change jar. Since both my parents work at a place with pop and vending machines and prefer to shop with cash, there is always a change inflow.

My brother and I were offered the opportunity to trade in the change for cash on an alternating basis, but with this kicker: Once you traded the change in, you couldn’t decide to trade it in until the other sibling had traded it in.

So if it was Carl’s turn, he could wait 3 days and get 5 bucks, or wait 3 weeks and get over 25 bucks. But then it was my turn and I could wait up to 6 months (there had to be some limit or one kid could have the jar forever), to trade it in for a couple hundred dollars before the jar was passed back his way.

So we ultimately had to decide between a small bit of cash immediately, or a nice chunk after a long wait. By now we pass the jar back in forth twice a year, after the 6 month wait. I guess we learned our lesson.

Going Gluten-Free without Going Broke

As a recently Gluten-free person, I only have begun to understand just how expensive GF items can be. As a college student, it’s safe to say that the majority of those items just can’t fit into my budget. The solution: Finds items that are gluten-free but don’t advertise it.

So, to help you in this endeavor, here’s my top 8 list of foods that should be in your pantry that cost less than $3.

• White Corn Tortillas (36/$1.50) I tend to eat four a day (replacing sandwiches, toasted to replace bread sticks, or floating in soup, etc.) and it seems to be really just a matter of creativity to find new ways to make Tortillas fresh.
• Rice Chex (Family size box -$2) The old stand-by replacement for breadcrumbs. Or just a good bowl of cereal. Or home-made chex mix. Caution: On-brand is GF, off-brand is not.
• Potato Chips + Corn Tortilla Chips ($1). So pretzels are out, yes. As are cookies, and snack cakes, and all those other great treats kids love to eat in groups. But Potato Chips are always a classic, and always worth eating.
• Cheez  Doodles: ($2) Sometimes you just need messy, crumbly goodness. And who’d have thought Cheez Doodles were GF? Caution: Again, on-brand is a necessity.
• Instant Mashed Potatoes (12 servings/$1). Forgot and made macaroni for dinner? Going to an Italian relative who always serves Pasta? Add a bit of milk and water to these flakes and you have potatoes in two minutes or less.
• Rice Cakes (14/$1.50). Great as snacks or with a protein spread (Peanut butter, soy butter) for a full meal. Also come in a variety of flavors for picky taste buds.
• Homemade Peanut-Butter Cookies: (Dozen/$1) Still need a Cookie idea? Throw 1 cup pb, 1 cup sugar, and 1 egg into a bowl, mix, throw in oven for 10 minutes, and ta-da, GF cookies the whole family will enjoy.
• Cocoa Pebbles (Family Size, $2.50)Angry that rice krispies are made with barley malt? Considering forswearing rice cereals forever? Never fear, cocoa pebbles are here! (Plus they have the Flintstones on the box!)

*I am neither advocating or attacking the use of gluten-free diets in kids with autism. I know there are heated opinions on both sides. But I do know many people use a GF diet, and as a celiac, so too do I.

What not to purchase for a loved one this holiday season

We all make bad choices in life. My most recent mistake? Ordering and reading The Unseen by T.L. Hines. But it was free, and I can’t resist free books. Plus the critics had given his last book rave reviews.  I don’t know what they saw.

The book details a week in the life of Lucas, a boy who likes to watch people. Not in the sit at the park and pretend to read a book sort of normal way, but in the climb into elevator shafts and spy on the people inside sort of creeper way. And one day he discovers a club devoted to doing this same activity, aptly called, “The Creeper Club.” I should have put the book down at this point. Corny is just not appealing. But I kept reading. Unfortunately. To make a long (and I mean long, 383 pages long) story short, Lucas winds up in the midst of a major crackdown involving the mafia, the CIA, the Chinese government, and some mad scientists who really like wasps. Think of all the cliches you can throw into a book like this (he’s not who he thinks he is, he thinks he’s an orphan, he’s been brainwashed, people who look like him are after him, no one is who they seem to be, he gets the pretty girl in the end, etc.) and you’ll find them in this book.

So, if that’s what you’re into, head to your nearest bookseller, and grab a copy (for the $27 cover price- seriously?). Or, you know just skip it and read something actually worth your time.

Some top sites

See what happens when I go off schedule? I can’t stop myself.

Anyhow, I thought I’d leave you with a few sites you might consider visiting when bored over the holiday week:

1. Alpha Inventions. You can place your blog on there to increase the number of people who view it, or you can visit some of the many blogs they already have listed. I gained over 300 readers in one day from this site (only one commenter, but still…)

2. Goodsearch: It’s like google, but it donates to charity every time you conduct a search. For example, every time I search through good search, a penny goes to the NY Autism Research Center. Their affiliate, goodshop, donates a portion of the proceeds from each purchase made through their site (at all the normal retailers like Barnes and Nobles and Amazon) to that same charity (whichever one you decide on). And if you have a charity you’d like to see earn some extra cash, you can list it as one of the donation options.

Okay. This should be my last post until post-break. Happy Holidays!

Carl and Cale at Christmas

So, I had mentioned I was going on break for the holidays, and I am, I swear. But…today Carl agreed to be photographed. So I thought I’d put his picture up before he changed his mind.

And then here’s his shot of me, as he insisted if he were on the page, so too must I be.

I was amused by the comparison of the photographs. We’re wearing the same outfit (khakis and a pully), but in two different colors. We’re drinking the same beverage (colas) but in two different brands. And we’re sitting on the same couch(note the connecting pillow and stockings) but on opposite sides. Anyway, I thought it captured us well .

Happy Holidays, and I’ll see you all in 2009.

Holiday Hiatus

I will be taking a short break over the holidays, as I know I would like to spend some time with family, and most people do not read blogs over break anyway. So this will be my last post until January 3rd (give you all a day to recover from New Years Eve festivities).

When we come back from break, the blog will have a new Appearance (I’ve heard black backgrounds can be difficult on the eyes), and perhaps a change in some features. This is where I need your help, dear readers.  I tend to get high stats on Tuesdays (f0r obvious reasons), and Fridays. I’m not sure if this is simply how your schedule works out, or if you think the rest of the material is dull and not worth reading. If you would all answer the following three questions in the comments, I would be greatly appreciative.

1. Other than the Try-This Tuesday Posts (which always get a ton of readers and comments), what is your favorite feature of the blog (the media reviews, the personal stories, or the theory posts)?
2. What should be removed from the blog (Symptom Saturday? Media Monday? Theory Thursday?).
3. What other features would you like to see/ what would you like to see more of?

Now if you’re sitting and staring at this post, wondering how you’ll possibly make it through the next two weeks without me (which I know you’re all doing at right this moment ) I have three suggestions:

1. Make sure you’re subscribed in a reader/feed so that you’re actually seeing the posts. The subscribe in a reader button is to your right beneath the About section.
2. Catch up on some old posts. Skip through the theory posts because they were too long? Now’s your time to catch up. Now’s the time to leave some major commenting so I know what features people are actually reading and which are being entirely ignored.
3. Ponder the list of 25 things you probably didn’t know about me listed right below this.

I hope you all enjoy your holidays, whichever ones you might be celebrating. I’ll see you all again on the 3rd.

Fun Facts

So,this is the fiftieth post of this blog!

I thought to celebrate I’d take a break from autism blogging, and tell you a bit about myself. So here are 25 things you probably didn’t know about me:

1. I have a crippling phobia of dogs and escalators.

2. I have a deep love for candy that I can eat with my fingers, namely M&M’s, Candy Corn, and Jelly Beans.

3. I consume at least three cans of pop daily.

4. I have collected monopoly sets since I was 7. I now have 29.

5. I cannot stop buying books. This semester alone, I’ve purchased at least 50.

6. My roommate hates me for this.

7. I have an MRI abnormality I jokingly call “Homunculus” (meaning little person).

8. I have an EEG abnormality that causes a strange head movement. I tell the kids at work that this is my head’s “happy dance.” This seems to satisfy them.

9. I refuse to mix solids and liquids with three exceptions: Corn Flakes and Milk, Cocoa Pebbles and Milk, and Vanilla Yogurt and Chocolate Sprinkles.

10. I have been gluten-free for the past 4 months.

11. In that time I have lost 35lbs, and am now at my lowest weight since 4th grade (I was a rather large 4th grader).

12. I work on a Sony Vaio which has terrible Mac Envy. Aside from the price (which was about a quarter that of a mac), this computer basically is a mac.

13. I long for the time when I can own my own apartment and have some pet snakes (and a European Legless Glass lizard or two).

14.  I have been resuscitated twice, once at 3 months, and once at 3 years.

15. I prefer MRIs to CTs. I like the thumping noise of the MRI, but not the lights of the CT.

16. I’m not the only one of my friends to have such a preference. (I need to find some healthier friends).

17. In my apartment I will have a wall lit from the back. This wall will be covered with my old MRIs.

18. I have a deep love for Pixar films. I don’t believe Wall-e, Monster’s Inc, or Finding Nemo can ever be surpassed.

19. That said, I absolutely hated the Incredibles, which I was forced to watch in German, English, and Spanish.

20. I will marry (unionize? let’s hope for marry) the first guy to pull out the line, “I wanted it to be you. I wanted it to be you so badly,” from You’ve Got Mail. I don’t think a better line will ever be spoken in a film.

21. I pick a new language each summer to teach myself. I haven’t actually succeeded yet.

22. I can type over 95 wpm, but still use hunt and peck.

23. I hate stupid comedies. As a result, my brother and I haven’t agreed on what to watch since Mr. Roger’s went to reruns.

24. Even when Mr. Rogers was on, we couldn’t agree. I liked the first and last 10 minutes when Mr. Rogers put on and removed his shoes. Carl liked all the pretend stuff in between.

25. Paintings by Escher, Van Gogh, and Dali cover my dorm. I hate, however, modern art.

So, that’s a wrap. Don’t forget that you can subscribe to this feed by hitting the RSS button on your right, or by plugging http://frogger11758.wordpress.com/feed into the reader of your choice.

Does someone hear an echo? echo? echo?

Echolalia is defined as the repetition of vocalizations made by another person. It is present in just about every form of non-neurotypicality (the ASD spectrum, Tourette’s, and schizophrenia), and it comes in two types:

Immediate: Repeating back what the person just said (often seen when buying time to form a response, or being emitted by psychotherapists, as that’s what they’re paid to do )

Delayed: Repeating language after a delay (TV, movies, commercials, etc.)

I’m a delayed echolalier, and I’m quite fond of music lyrics. Parroting back a line from a song is an almost immediate response to heard speech. It sort of flows out of my mouth before I even realize it’s about to emerge.

Most people quote music occasionally. Some have a few choice lines that come out in times of need. That is rather typical, Aspies and NTs alike can exhibit this behavior.

This is quite a bit different. I’ll insert a line whenever the preceding line is given. Someone says, ‘I can’t be held responsible,” regardless of circumstance out pours, “she was touching her face?” It could be in the middle of a serious discussion, in church, in a classroom, or it could be in a simple friendly conversation. (When the timing is way wrong, and I’m conscious of it, I generally just repeat it so myself at a subaudible level).

I can link almost any conversation back to a song. A friend once asked how much of my brain capacity was actually devoted to song lyrics, I’d say a fair percentage. They’re always swimming around waiting for their chance to be used.

Why do I do this?

I’m not really sure myself. In some ways, it’s like a tic, in that it’s impossible to stop, and I usually don’t realize I’m doing it until I’m actively doing it. In some ways it serves the conventional (NT) purpose of connecting in a conversation (assuming I’m quoting well-known music). I parrot back the line, people laugh, conversational success. And in some ways it is a time buyer. Someone says something serious that happens to also be a song lyric, I can recite the song, get the frown, apologize, and then give a reasonable answer. This seems to work out quite effectively.

I’ve read that echolalia is almost always purposeful. It is typically viewed as a way to connect to other people, and become involved in conversation even when there is nothing to add. It’s certainly something to think about…

Frightening Friendships: Abuse doesn’t only occur when dating

Here’s another atypical Friendship Friday post, but I thought it was important to bring up before break.
As autistic individuals, we have a greater probability of falling into abusive relationships, not just romantic, but also friendship-based. With an inadequate ability to read social clues, and a sometimes desperateness for friends, we are the perfect targets for abusive friendships.
Here are some sings your child might be the target of an abusive friendship:

• Multiple calls a day by the friend, with no outgoing calls by your child. My friend Kelly used to call every half an hour once we left school until Midnight. What are you doing? Who are you with? But she would become enraged if I called her, insisting I was violating her private time.

• Your child stops hanging out with all other friends, or instructs you to lie about their whereabouts when the friend calls. Kelly would become severely perturbed at the thought that I was hanging out with other people. She would insist on being brought along, and then dominate the conversation. I would plead my mother to tell her I was at an aunt or uncles or a school function so that Kelly wouldn’t know I was really with other friends.

• Your child’s wallet is emptying faster than usual, but he doesn’t seem to have anything new. Kelly used to borrow small amounts, a dollar here or there, so I never really noticed how much I was handing over. But it happened so often (multiple times a week), that I was forfeiting a substantial part of my allowance to her.

• Your child becomes more self-conscious then usual, piling on layers of clothes, even while swimming or sleeping. Kelly used to endlessly ridicule my appearance: my hair, my weight, my skin (I have acne and a deep paleness caused by anemia). But she’d do it in such a way that I wouldn’t take it as bullying but as constructive criticism from a friend in the know. “You know everyone was talking about how fat you’ve gotten recently. Maybe you should rein in your diet a bit, huh?” was a common remark. By tenth grade (I met Kelly in 9th), I was wearing oversized long sleeved clothing regardless of season or need. My swim attire had four layers. I was convinced that my body was so disgusting and disfigured that no one should be forced to see it.

• Your child tells you the friendship is over, but within three days is friends again. This happens over and over and over. Kelly used to insist our friendship was over all the time. I’d cry, she’d scream, and then a few days later she’d start talking to me again, and I’d be willing to do anything just to make her happy and make her not abandon me again.

• The friend makes unkind remarks about your child to you or when others are around in a joking context. I was always the butt of Kelly’s jokes. She thought nothing of critiquing me openly in front of family and other friends. It wasn’t a conversation with Kelly unless I was informed more than once that I was unlovable, generally hated, and destined to forever be alone, and that she was my one savior, the one individual who would be there for me because no one else would.

So what should you do if you suspect your child is in an abusive relationship?

• Try to talk to your child about this friendship. See if they have the same concerns you do. But  expect that they’ll be hesitant about stopping the friendship. Often the abuser will tell the child that the child is the only one preventing them from suicide, or that they would hurt/maim themselves if the child ever ended the friendship.

• Expect that it will take time for the friendship to end . I was “friends” with Kelly for 5 years before I finally pulled myself out of it this year, and the only reason I had the courage to do so was that she was 1,000 miles away.

• Talk to your child’s teachers, coaches, or others that see your child in a social context. See if they notice that your child has been behaving oddly, or that there is something “off” about their relationship with this friend.

• Bring up the topic of abusive friendships often, without mentioning that you think your child is involved in one. Let him come to that realization on his own, but make it known that you are informed and willing to talk about it if needed.

What should you be prepared for following the breakup of the friendship?
The road back is long and difficult.

• I’m still excessively anxious about my appearance, wearing clothing that reveals skin (such as forearms or ankles), and especially any sort of physical intimacy.

• I am still notoriously hard to reach by phone. As this friendship declined I started to avoid the phone, making sure to avoid her calls and not be tempted to pick them up. As a result, I often missed phone calls from friends and relatives that I really did want to see.

• Other friendships are going to be difficult, especially at first. Your child’s brain will be so wired for this codependent,  possessive based model of friendship, that it will take time to adjust back to what a normal friendship is supposed to act and look like.

Where can you find more resources about abusive friendships?
-This site is designed for teens who are in suspected abusive relationships.
-This site is designed for the support people (parents, friends, counselors) of those involved in abusive relationships.
-This book is written about abusive friendships in women and teen girls, but seems like it would also equally apply to both sexes. I’ll be sure to add this one to my collection: Odd Girl Out by Rachel Simmons.

Floortime is Fun!

Theory Thursday thus far has been mostly about the topic of Neurodiversity. Topics covered so far include:

What is Neurodiveristy?

Debunking Neurodiversity Myths.

What is ABA?

Can ABA be made Neurodiversity Friendly?

What is Floortime?

Floortime is intrinsically Neurodiversity friendly. It is designed to follow the child’s interest, and is based on building relationships rather than removing or adding behaviors. So a post on making Floortime Neurodiversity friendly would be a bit of a waste.

So I thought instead I’d talk a bit about how I incorporate Floortime principles into some of the work I do with the kids at Spectrum Swimming. Please bear in mind that I have no formal Floortime training, and this is thus based entirely off of how I interpret the Floortime ideas.

If you read Laughing and Learning, you probably remember Mikey, the kindergärtner I one-on-one with. Mikey loves buckets. He will spend entire sessions sitting on the steps, dumping buckets of water into the cleaning grate if you left him alone, and would be entirely content doing so. But he’s not learning a whole lot this way. And the instructor really wanted him to get across the pool.

So a few weeks back, I hatched a plan. As he hopped on the stairs, looking for the bucket, I slowly brought it into view.
“Hey, Mikey. I’ve got the bucket.”
“Want it”
“You can come get it.”
“No.”
“Okay, then I’ll just play with it by myself.” I proceeded to dump the bucket into the grate as I had seen him done. He stepped in.
“Good job Mikey”. I handed him the bucket.
After a minute or two of dumping water in, I turned back to him.
“Hey, Mikey. Why are we dumping the water in?”
“Makes the water less deep.”
“Less Deep?”
“Yes. Don’t want head in water.”
“I remember. So this will make the water be less deep, because we’re dumping it out.”
“Yes.”
As we’ve talked I’ve been slowly walking backwards until we’re about halfway into the pool. The water is now up to the middle of his chest. He stands on his tiptoes.
“Hey, look Mikey, I can go on my tiptoes too. You know what else I can do?” I start to hop along the edge of the pool. “Can you do that? Just go up and down a bit?”  And he does. “That’s great jumping Mikey. Hey, can you think of an animal that jumps like this?”
“Rabbit.”
“Yes, it sure does. Let’s hop like rabbits.” We hop along a bit, so we’re now about ten feet from the other end of the pool. The diving rings, his prized possessions come into view, sitting on the wall.
He makes a move toward them.
“Not so fast, little Man. Let’s make this a race.” And he sets off, pushing me backward, giggling with delight. Then he stops at the wall, clutching them victoriously, swimming them through his hands until the whistle calls for end of class. Our mission has been accomplished.

What makes this Floortime-ish?
-    We followed his lead. He wanted to dump water into the grates, and so we got started with the bucket.
-    I was an active participant in the play. I blocked his access to the prized item, the bucket, until he was willing to accomplish goal 1, entering the water.
-    Once we were following his lead, dumping the water into the grate, I asked him about the activity so that a meaning would be established. No longer was the bucket emptying mindless visual stimming, it was a way for him to control his environment by reducing (at least in his mind) the depth of the water.
-    We then put an imaginatory element to the play. Hopping up and down like rabbits was a purposeful activity, not merely a method of getting from one place to another.
-    Finally, there was time for freeplay at the end (with the fish).
The whole session went quite well. He didn’t meltdown or lash out. He spoke purposeful sentences. He accomplished the two goals of first getting into the water and second making it across the pool. And we both had fun, both thinking of it more as playtime then therapy.
I’m still not completely sold on Floortime as an on its own strategy, but I think we can all learn something from its intentions.